The reason you're getting stuck in indecision is because you're going to your brain to find the answers, and friction is created between head and heart. So you get confused, bounce from one thing back to the other, and accumulate fear of making the wrong choice. This might even lead you into inaction/not making a decision at all.
How many times have you been told to "think it over" or "use your head" or "think about it"?How many times have you gotten a feeling about something and then disregarded it because there was no logic present or it "didn't make sense"?
Virtually every time we use our brain to make a decision we are going in the wrong direction. If you genuinely want to make authentic and aligned decisions that always move you in the right direction, you have to train yourself to transfer this process into your heart and body. The heart and soul don't need logic. They're never wrong. Let me show you.
In 2017 I took out a $35K loan to begin a business with two other women. The concept was to have one location that housed our 3 separate businesses all coming under the umbrella of style. This was such an exciting time and each visit to the site during construction was incredibly exhilarating. Not to mention I was very bonded and close with the two partners (one is a cousin) and so we were having the most fun planning and moving in and even threw a really great grand opening party. Fast forward 7 months later and I was miserable. I remember my partner and I were moving into a house and the night before we moved, we got possession so I went over with a few friends to clear the house, place some protective crystals and get the energy feeling really good for the next day. In conversation with my friends I burst into tears and shared how unhappy I was and how I felt like I was drowning. They listened to me tell them all the reasons I "should" stay and then one said "you know what you want - you're just not admitting it." She was right. 7 weeks later I told them I no longer wanted to be in the business and asked to be removed from the partnership; it was one of the hardest conversations I've had in my life. It made more sense to stay, pay off the loan, ride out the term of the lease. It made more sense to not rock the boat and knowingly blow up friendships (and in this case, family ties). It made more sense to stay because...what would everyone think? What would people say? From there we entered into a lengthy legal exchange and finally I was freed from the business. So that was it. Big loan to pay back for a business I was not a part of any longer, severed relationships, and disconnection from family. It definitely was not easy, comfortable or fun. I cried so hard on the bathroom floor one day I thought I was going to throw up. I didn't know it at the time, but one thing my lawyer advised me on ended up being a WAY bigger deal than I had imagined, but my ego did not like it at ALL at the time. But I listened because my heart already knew it needed to be liberated from that connection. Turns out, had I not listened to him, and had I not listened to my heart, HAD I STAYED because it made more "sense", I would be in a much different type of situation that would be way, way worse and potentially on the line for tons more money than what I paid to get out of the business (trust me...not good).
Heart: 1, Brain: 0.
In March of 2020 I was standing in my kitchen and I remember moving to sit in on the floor in the sun beaming in the window. It was a beautiful spring day, the birds were happy and so was I. Stuff was whirling about a virus and places were beginning to shut down. I remember feeling concerned and a little nervous about clients of mine losing their jobs, my not being able to work - the things a LOT of people were concerned about. I picked up my phone and saw a post from a shaman and spiritual teacher whose community I had been in for a few years. This post was about a program she was offering that just released that day - maybe 20 minutes prior. I clicked the link, and began reading the sales page. Almost instantly I began to cry....hard. Something about what was written, what she was offering through this program, touched a place in me that was far removed from my brain. Then my mom showed up for a visit so I shared with her about this course and that it had brought tears on and kind of let it go until she left. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went back and read it again. About an hour later, against all logic, thoughts, and "should's" I clicked purchase. I had no idea how I was going to pay for a $3500 USD certification program. I had no idea if my clients would be able to pay their invoices or if I would get any more. I had JUST finished paying my way out of the business from the above story. I didn't check in with Josh or ask permission to say yes. It was a complete heart based decision. And guess what? My clients paid - all of them. I got new ones - many of them. I doubled my income, spent more time outside in nature BEING and less time doing. I was connected to myself more deeply than ever before through Liana's teachings and I felt more and more like I was coming home to myself. I co-hosted my first retreat. Launched my first ever digital courses. Rebranded and got made a whole new website. That choice made zero "sense". But my heart knew. And the blessings that followed that were absolutely incredible.
Heart: 2, Brain: 0
**the screenshot from the day I said yes to this program!**
I promise your heart knows too. It's your window into your soul and the messages that the Universe is lovingly trying to guide you toward. If you're feeling caught between this or that, experiencing an inability to feel fully confident in a decision or just recognizing your track record of internal debate when it comes to decisions, then please read this next part carefully. NOT ONE THING that is truly meant for you will pass you by. Your heart KNOWS and it's trying to guide you into your truth, power and along your path. The more you ignore it, the more misaligned choices you make. The thing is that we have to UNLEARN this go-to method of using our brain to make decisions so that we can undo the conditioned habits that disconnected us from our truth. This takes time and practice and it's not always easy or without fears popping up. And just to really drive this point home for you, I'll share one more example of a client of mine who started to say YES to her heart despite concerns, and how it opened up magic in her life.
This client was working two jobs and raising her 5 year old solo. When we began working together she was exhausted and had no clue how she was going to make time for doing this self discovery work let alone ensure she had the funds for it, but still she said yes. As time passed on she started to share an idea for a business she had that is absolutely so beautiful and soul-based. I could hear the passion and inspiration come through when she spoke about it and I also heard a lot of the "but what about..." statements. We worked together to unblock those fears and help her tune into what would be expansive and uplifting for her - it always came back around to this business idea, and creating more freedom in her life to spend with her daughter and doing what she felt she was here to do. Then one day in a session we came up with an idea about taking a leave at one job so she could get some clarity on things, dig into this work and really tune into her heart. She did that and about two weeks in she was a different person - more calm, grounded and focused and her clarity around this business idea was getting more and more real. She never went back to that job, but before she made that decision we had another session and chatted about how she might create income to support her developing her business idea, but that would also give her more time to actually work on it. Somehow the concept of teaching came up - that she would love to teach in her field and if she could do that part time that would really fill her up. That day I connected her with a women in her industry, they had a brief chat, then an interview about her taking on a teaching position in her field! I said "this is it. what does your heart say?!" and she replied "I need to email my boss and tell him I'm not coming back from this leave and that I quit". We chatted through the fears that again, rose up out of "what if I don't actually get this job but then I've quit this one?!". She continued to move forward, tuning into trust and having faith that her heart was guiding her the right way.
She got the teaching job the next week. She now has less hours working for other people, income enough to support her and her little girl, and more TIME to invest in herself and her business idea.
Heart: 3, Brain: 0
I could tell you countless other stories through clients and that I've experienced myself of what magic happens when you say yes to your heart, your desires, your SOUL wisdom. It might defy logic, but as I've pointed out, logic is a faulty system we should rely less and less on if we want to truly walk the most authentic and aligned path we can in our short time here on earth.
Go find your magic. Stop at nothing to follow it.