My life now looks a lot different than it used to in almost every way you can imagine - personally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. My personal story is a great way to convey the importance of this work and how impactful it is (not to mention a profound act of self love). When I was younger, I was riddled with anxiety from the age of 11 after a traumatizing experience. This led to debilitating panic attacks that kept me in the depths of fear to the point where I didn't feel able to participate in "normal" life. I barely left the house, had very little friends, constant concern about stomach aches and not feeling well, had an awful relationship with food, and felt sad, alone and hopeless. Growing up with this lens on life led me down some paths that, looking back on now, were masks for the pain I was in and ways I was just trying to feel better and more alive. I had broken trust with my body and a ton of disassociation, low confidence + inner strength, swirling negative thought patterns that took over MUCH of my thinking throughout every single day, zero self trust, and a shit ton of fear of "what will they think of me?"
What I know to be deeply true, is that how we grow up, the experiences we have, the people around us, how we're raised and what we're taught to believe about ourselves, shapes the way we interact with not only other people but also with ourself. The trajectory of my life from that event forward slowly and powerfully moulded me into a people pleasing, self doubting, personal truth sacrificing, emotionally manipulative, love seeking, attention craving, confrontation fearing, fraction of a woman who had NO idea what being authentic meant because for 30 years I put an enormity of effort into being something other than my truth. How the hell are you supposed to know who you are and feel confident in that, if you've spent your life trying to hide your true feelings and afraid to be yourself out of fear of rejection?! You can't.
The more I started to question WHY I felt like I did, why I couldn't seem to stop seeing and experiencing repeating things, and why I couldn't just ditch the bullshit and be ME, the more I realized just how fragmented I had become and how many pieces of myself I abandoned and rejected. My journey to rediscover myself and reconnect to my truth has absolutely changed everything and it all began with that curiosity. Committing to this deeper healing work, doing the self discovery exploration and genuinely getting to know the REAL me has allowed me to shift out of the things I mentioned.
I have shifted away from career paths that weren't aligned or authentic, into a deep, soul-led and purposeful path where I get to share my experiences, and the ways in which I've healed, with others so that they may feel empowered to create change in their life.
I have shifted away from people pleasing, attention seeking, self-abandoning/rejecting, fear, and am better able now to stand in my truth, embody my authentic self and stop caring about what other people think about that.
I have been able to let go of coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, disconnected sex, and emotional eating, as well as remove anxiety medication. Doing this deep healing work allowed me to get to the origin of the anxiety, process the emotional turmoil around it, reparent myself and bring strength and nurturing to my inner children so they don't go into panic mode.
I don't stifle my truth anymore. I care less and less what others think about my lifestyle or choices. My friendships and relationships have become so deeply nourishing because they're based in truth and real connection. I BELIEVE in my worth and value and stopped feeling like I needed to convince others of it or seek validation for my feelings.
And one more important part: I reconnected to divinity. I rebuilt my relationship with the magic of the Universe, my purpose/why I am here, and how I can be of service. Through this my self trust has increased, I've been able to move through incredibly difficult things with grace and faith that things are going to work out and that I am exactly where I need to be.
My goal is to share what's been the most impactful and life-changing so that you can try it out, get curious in your own life, and begin to understand yourself much more in-depth in order to ditch the shit that's been weighing you down. It's about freedom and liberation. Dropping the false shit. Rising up into authenticity, empowerment and alignment. Learning to feel rooted in your truth, look at the origins of anxiety, self doubt, self rejection and self abandonment is how you free yourself and embody who you are meant to be. I've been able to change so much of my internal and external landscape through this work and I believe it in with every ounce of my being. If I can let go of all those things, so can you. If I can disconnect from anxiety and panic, that is 100% possible for you as well. If I can stop using drugs, alcohol and men to feel loved and instead truly love and accept myself, you are absolutely capable of doing the same. If I can find inner power, confidence and genuine purpose in this life, there is NO reason you can't do the same for yourself.
I share all this in the "about" section because it's important for anyone reading to understand my personal journey to reclaiming my true self; I wasn't always as I am now and I definitely had no freaking clue who the real me was for a VERY long time. I'm still working daily on my own healing - uncovering more and more and journeying further into myself and my heart.
I would be honoured to journey alongside you on your discovery path.